Inter Child Therapy

"Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are." Chinese proverb

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We live in a tension where we are constantly trying to prevent what we are hiding and are ashamed of from coming out, to prevent the mask and the armour that was supposed to protect us from another rejection, abandonment, betrayal, injustice or humiliation from falling away. If in our childhood we were made to believe that we are not enough, that we are losers, or unworthy of love, then we will always try to hide the fact that we are losers who will never be able to achieve anything.  We will always struggle with those around us who will irritate these feelings, we will blame our parents, teachers, the system, the government, or anything for it, we will think that the whole world is against us and will be annoyed and hurt by the words of those around us, but in reality our inner child is just waiting to be rescued from a difficult or traumatic situation that happened in the past. Healing the inner child can lead to the disappearance of panic attacks, anxiety, stress, fears, desire for revenge, control, pedantry, perfectionism, self-blame, weight regulation. Is reticence your true characteristic, or is it just a fear of being rejected? Perhaps you are always controlling everyone because controlling makes you feel less irritated that you cannot control betrayal, rejection or abandonment? What are the real qualities of your character? Which of them are just there as protection?

You may have heard that everyone we meet is our teacher. The people around us are just mirrors, they tease the wounds that sometimes we can’t even recognise or name, we just become angry or let aggression take over. It will feel like words, actions, looks, other people’s way of life will irritate us because it will irritate our wound. There is no need to be afraid of triggers, for they will lead us to self-knowledge. Once we recognise the triggers, we can more easily identify the pain, feelings and emotions. What you see in me is yours, what I see in you is mine. Don’t be afraid of people who make you nervous or irritated, they will lead you to the root of your problem.  

Once it becomes clear that the inner child is calling out “SOS” and what healing measures it needs, you can allow yourself to react differently - through the eyes of an adult.  We can go back in time and rescue the trapped little child. However, the new you, the real you, is not possible with old, destructive beliefs, old negative programming and unhealed wounds.   

Once we rescue ourselves, we can begin to build our lives without negative beliefs about ourselves, live our own authentic, unique lives without guilt, shame, fear of being condemned or unloved - allowing ourselves to try and make mistakes. Our self-esteem no longer depends on results, salary, a house or a car. Things or unhealthy habits are no longer needed to fill the emptiness inside or to heal wounds. We no longer need the approval of others to be ourselves. Our lives no longer depend on other people’s opinion of us. Love is born within, it does not come from outside, you do not have to do, prove or achieve anything to be worthy of love. You are love.